I have tossed this post around in my head for a long time. I love to write about building our home, decorating and of course about Charlie. I also love to write about new recipes, DIY and everything in between but when it comes time to write something about me, I change my mind. I talk myself out of it for whatever the reason. Recently I asked another amazing blogger to take a look at my blog and let me know what I am missing, as far as a beginner blogger. Of course there are many things I need to learn and I will never stop learning but the biggest thing she mentioned was that I needed to post more about me.
If you know me, you know that I would much rather talk about something else, for the most part, than myself. I could talk all day about Charlie, but who wants to hear about my dog all day?? So, this is a tough one folks.
Me. I will start by saying yesterday marks the first day of National Infertility Awareness Week. You may not have ever heard of this and you may not have struggled with infertility but I can guarantee that someone sitting in the room beside you, the office next to you or in your close circle of friends, has definitely struggled. 1 in 8 women struggles with infertility. 1 in 8! That is a lot! Don’t get me wrong, there are so many other worries and diseases in this world that need awareness but for today, I am supposed to be talking about me.
I am 1 in 8. I am one out of eight women struggling. My amazing husband and I have been married for almost 13 years, wow, 13 years, sometimes I can’t believe it when I say it out loud. Or type it, haha. We have had an amazing journey and I can’t wait to see where the next 13+ years takes us. Our infertility journey started 7 years ago. We waited to start a family after we got married because we wanted time to learn about each other, to have fun as newlyweds and take time for ourselves. We also wanted to have a bigger house, which we built and we loved. We built enough bedrooms just in case. Because at that time, you have no idea how many children you might have or want to have. We decided on three bedrooms, plenty of space for 2 kids or more. So, we waited and in the spring of 2000 it was time! Fast forward a year, and nothing.
Everyone around me was getting pregnant and having babies, and by everyone, I mean everyone. The baby shower invitations arrived what seemed like weekly. At this point, it was tricky but not unbearable. We decided to see a Dr. after a year because it is considered infertility after a year of “trying” with no success. I will spare you the details of the testing and uncomfortable situations and sadness, but long story short, I am unable to get pregnant on my own due to blocked fallopian tubes. I never in a million years thought that I would be the person walking out of the doctors office crying because I was told I would never be able to have children on my own, without the help of in vitro fertilization. I was crushed, we were both crushed. I can’t even imagine what my husband was thinking or going through at that time because I couldn’t even talk about it. The doctor suggested I see a specialist and told me that there is a big chance that my only option (if it is an option) is to try IVF.
If you aren’t familiar with IVF, the procedures can cost anywhere between $12,000 – $30,000. Not to mention what you have to go through emotionally and physically. So at that point, we put things on hold. I had to take time to wrap my head around it and just take time. We took time. And more time. And at this point, 6 years after that diagnosis, we are still taking time. Sometimes what is right for one person isn’t right for the next person. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard “why don’t you just adopt”? Or, just be patient, if it’s meant to happen, it will happen. Or the best one is “just relax”. We are waiting, as patiently as possible for our little miracle. Until then, we have an amazing life, an sweet as pie furbaby Charlie, and an amazing family. So we are very blessed. At this point, we are leaving things in God’s hands and waiting. It may not be the right choice or it may be the best choice, but either way, at this point, it is our choice.
In honor of National Infertility Awareness week, I share this post with you not to ask for your sympathy but to ask you to please listen and be there for your friends and family because even if you don’t know it, they need you. Just be a shoulder for them to lean on, and help spread awareness.
If you are struggling yourself and you ever need a friend to talk to, please message me, I would be happy to listen. I know the pain and sadness when you think about the fact that you are so patiently waiting and everything around you is screaming babies and pregnancy and you are still waiting. Everything that pops up on your news feed is another pregnancy announcement, your best friend is pregnant and you are so very happy for her but your heart just aches. I know that feeling and I am here if you need a shoulder to lean on. If you need a shoulder to lean on when every group or club around is a “Mom” club and you don’t know where you fit in, I am here!
I also want to share with you a blog that has been there for me when I need it. Please hop over to In Due Time, my friend Caroline is also in the wait. She is amazing and a great inspiration to all of us. Caroline also has a book about her journey that is a great devotional. I can’t wait to get my copy.
#NationalInfertilityAwarenessWeek2017 #1in8 #NIAW